Take your time and read it entirely!!!!!

Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to  work and hearing this.
Many Chicago folks DID hear this on the WBAM FM morning show in Chicago. The
DJs play a game where they award winners
great prizes. The game is called "Mate Match". The DJs call someone at work
and ask if they are married or seriously
involved with someone. If the contestant answers "yes", he or she is then
asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. The
person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner (with phone
number) for verification. If their partner answers
those same three questions correctly, they both win the  prize.

One particular game, however, several months ago made the City of Big
Shoulders drop to its knees with laughter and is
possibly the funniest thing I've heard yet. Anyway, here's how it all went
down:

DJ: "Hey! This is  Edgar on WBAM. Have you ever heard of 'MateMatch'?"

Contestant: (laughing) "Yes, I  have."

DJ: "Great! Then  you know we're giving away a trip to Orlando, Florida if
you win. What is your name? First only please."

Contestant: "Brian."

DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"

Brian: "Yes."

DJ: "Yes? Does that mean you're married or you're what?"

Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I  am married."

DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please."

Brian: "Sara."

DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?"

Brian: "She is gonna kill  me."

DJ: "Stay with  me here, Brian! Is she at work?"

Brian: (laughing) "Yes, she's at work."

DJ: "Okay, first question - when was  the last time you had sex?"

Brian: "She is gonna kill me."

DJ: "Brian! Stay with me here!"

Brian:  "About 8 o'clock this morning."

DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."

Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..."

DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"

Brian:  "About 10 minutes."

DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that
if a trip wasn't at stake."

Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would  be nice."

DJ:  "Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this
morning?"

Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..."

DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where  was it at?"

Brian:  "Not that it was all that great, but her mom is staying with us for
a couple of weeks..."

DJ: "Uh huh..."

Brian: "...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time."

DJ: "Atta  boy, Brian."

Brian:  "On the kitchen table."

DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred times
I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on
hold, get this wife's work number and call her up. You listen to this."

3 minutes of commercials follow.

DJ: "Okay audience, let's call  Sarah, shall we?"

(touch tones.....ringing....)

Clerk: "Kinkos."

DJ: "Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?"

Clerk: "This is  she."

DJ: "Sarah, this is Edgar with WBAM. We are live on the air right now and
I've been talking with Brian for a couple of
hours  now."

Sarah: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"

DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us.

Brian knows not to give any answers away or you'll lose. Sooooooo... do you
know the rules  of 'MateMatch'?"

Sarah: "No."

DJ: "Good!"

Brian: (laughing)

Sarah: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?"

Brian (laughing) "Just  answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely
honest."

DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If your
answers match Brian's answers, then the both of
you will be off to Orlando, Florida for 5 days on us. Disney World. Sea
World. Tickets to the Magic's game. The whole deal.
Get it Sarah?"

Sarah:  (laughing) "Yes."

DJ: "Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?"

Sarah: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning  before Brian went  to work."

DJ: "What  time?"

Sarah:  "Around 8 this morning."

DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?"

Sarah: "12, 15 minutes  maybe."

DJ: "Hmmmm.  That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his
manhood. We've got one last question, Sarah. You
are one question away from a trip to Florida. Are you ready?"

Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."

DJ: "Where did you have  it?"

arah:  "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that, did you?"

Brian: "Just tell him, honey."

DJ: "What is bothering you so much, Sarah?"

Sarah: "Well, it's just that my mom is vacationing with us and..."

DJ: Come  on Sarah.....where did you have it?

Sarah: "In the ass....."

After a long pause, the DJ said,  "Folks, we need to take a station break"


Best regards
Lajos Bibo
**************************************
Mobil : 093 730 321

Kedves Muszaki Segelyszolgalat!

A mult evben a Barat 5.0 verziot Ferj 1.0 - ra csereltem es
azt tapasztaltam, hogy az uj program varatlan valtoztatasokat
eszkozolt a penzugyi modulokban, korlatozott hozzaferest a
virag- es ekszer alkalmazasokban, melyek folyamatosan
mukodtek a Barat 5.0 alatt. Tovabba a Ferj 1.0 kitorolt mas
programokat, mint peldaul a Forro szex 1.0 es Romanc 9.9 -est,
viszont felinstallalt ertekes, de nem kivant programokat, mint NFL 5.0
es NBA 3.0. ??? . A beszelgetes 8.0 mar nem fut es a takaritas
2.6 teljesen lefagyasztja a rendszert. Probaltam a Civodas 5.3 - at a
gondok megoldasara, de hiaba.
   Elkeseredett Feleseg ****



   Kedves Elkeseredett Feleseg!

Szeretnenk emlekeztetni, hogy a Barat 5.0 csak egy
szorakoztato program mig a Ferj 1.0 egy operacios rendszer.
Probalja meg beirni a kovetkezo parancsot: C:/ AZT HITTEM SZERETSZ
es telepitse a Konnyek 6.2 verziot. A Ferj 1.0 ekkor automatikusan elinditja
a
Hibaztam 3.0 es a Viragok 7.0 felhasznaloi modulokat. Ne feledje azonban,
hogy a tulzott alkalmazas a Ferj 1.0-t az Osszegombolyodott Csend 2.5, a
Boldogora 7.0 vagy a Sor 6.1 alapertelmezesre keszteti. A Sor 6. 1 egy
kulonosen rossz program, mert generalja a "Hangos Horkolas" hullamfajljait.
NE telepitse az Anyos 1.0-at vagy masik Barat programot. Ezek nem tamogatott
felhasznalasok es tonkreteszik a Ferj 1.0-at. Osszefoglalva a Ferj 1.0 egy
nagyszeru
 program, de a memoriakapacitasa korlatozott es nem tud gyorsan
alkalmazkodni
az uj alkalmazasokhoz. Gondolkozzon el kiegeszito szoftverek beszerzesen a
rendszer
feljavitasara.En szemely szerint a MelegEtel 3.0, CsabosFehernemu 5.3-at es
a
TartsdmegJoalakod 10-et javaslom.


  Tech Support

Levi ;))

Ismet kovetkezik egy merenylet az angol nyelv ellen .. de ez csak igy jon
be igazan sajna.

Yo momma ...

Yo momma so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was
backing up

  Yo momma so fat her nickname is "DAMN"

  Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.

  Yo momma so fat were in her right now

  Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise

  Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone

  Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors

  Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...

  Yo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her
for the new world

  Yo momma so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling
Free Willy

  Yo momma so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!

  Yo momma so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions!

  Yo momma so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says
"okay!"

  Yo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said
"Taxi!"

  Yo momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized

  Yo momma so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway

  Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller

  Yo momma so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her
pockets

  Yo momma so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th

  Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge
too


Ha bejon, szoljatok, azt folytatva lesz! ;-)

Best virtual regards:
				Orsolya Kalecz

A jovendo apa izgatottan setal fel-ala a szuloszoba elott.
Egyszercsak nyilik az akto, es megjelenik nyilasaban
a szuleszno.
- Ugye fiam szuletett? - rohan oda az uj apuka.
- No mondja mar, hogy fiu!
- Hat igen! - nyugtatja a szuleszno. - A kozepso fiu.

- Két ujdonsult apa beszelget:
- Szerinted a terhesseg hanyadik honapja a legnehezebb?
-A tizedik.
-A tizedik?
- Igen. Mert akkor mar en hordom a gyereket.

- Miert vagy ilyen izgatott?
- Mert telefonaltak a klinikarol, hogy ikreim szulettek,
es most nem emlekszem, pontosan, mit mondott a nover,
hogy egy fiu meg egy lany, vagy forditva.

- Mi van azzal a gyonyoru fekete novel, akivel latni
szoktalak? Csak nem szakitottal vele?
- De igen.
- Miert?
- Mert az orvos eltiltott tole.
- Ha't beteg vagy?
- Dehogyis!
- Akkor miert tiltott el?
- Mert az orvos a ferje.

Spanyolorszagban, forro nyarban, tuzo napon, a
gidres-godros hegyi uton nyikorogva kaptat folfele egy
korde'. Benne ul a kover falusi gazda, csont-bor felesege
meg majd osszeroskadva huzza a kocsit.
- Hova, hova?- erdeklodik egy szembejovo ismeros.
Mire a gazda:
- Beteg ez a szegeny asszony, viszem a varosi doktorhoz.

1897
A paraszt elmegy az orvoshoz:
- Doktor ur, adjon valami orvossagot a felesegemnek meg a
lovamnak!
- Nezze, gazduram - szol az orvos -, az az orvossag,
amelyik az allatnak jo, nem jo az embernek!
- Most mar nem ertem a doktor urat - okoskodik a gazda. - A
felesegemet tetszik embernek tartani, vagy pedig a lovamat
allatnak?

- Mondd, mi az a manko ott a sarokban?
- After-sifelszereles.

Tsa Skaczok!!!

 Most monnyak a kollegaim, hogy a 17-en bekuldott BKV-s poenomat
 penteken beolvastak a Danubius Cappuchinoban!!!!

 Affene, hogy lemaradtam rola :(  Meg ha jogdijat nem is vartam,
 szivesen meghallgattam volna...

 Namajd legkozelebb odairom, hogy legalabb szoljanak, ha lenyomatnak egy
 szignoval ellatott poent.
 
 Minden esetre elgondolkodtato... FIGYELNEK MINKET!!! Ezentul ugy irjatok,
 hogy a medianak a MOKA-n a szeme ;)

 Nacsok!  Samwise

- Egyutt regelizunk holnap?
- Ja, igen...
- Felhivjalak vagy oldalbausselek?

Jut eszembe a terkepszexrol,hogy ugy 12-13 evvel ezelott
mar nem tudom a nevet,milyen idoszakos kiadvanyban olvastam Timar Gyorgy tollab
ol egy aranyos valogatast,ami magyarorszagi buszjaratokrol szolt (persze a "von
al" nem jarhato a Volan buszok szamara,de mind magyar helysegnevekbol lett ossz
eallitva).Egyre emlekszem csak,ezert,ha valakinek megvan,kerem kuldje be,meg ma
ganba is:

MALE - BALF - ASZAGY - BANA - JENO

Udv:                           Bendezoli

(webes bekuldes, a bekuldo gepe: pc1.att.uni-miskolc.hu)